Not having their children with them each and every day is often one of the most difficult adjustments divorcing parents must make.  Holidays tend to be difficult for all divorced and separated parents.  Often, family get-togethers serve as painful reminders of what once was, and what has been lost.  This is magnified when a parent must spend a holiday away from a child.  

As part of developing a post-divorce parenting plan, parents (or the Court, if the parents cannot agree) must determine which parent will have the kids on which holidays.  Most people would like to keep as many family traditions as possible intact for their children.  It is important for children to experience holiday traditions on both sides of their extended families.

The holidays that can be addressed in a court order are limited only by the parents’ imagination.  In my practice, parents usually choose to address the following holidays:

  • New Year’s Eve;
  • New Year’s Day;
  • Easter;
  • Mother’s Day;
  • Memorial Day;
  • July 4;
  • Labor Day;
  • Halloween;
  • Thanksgiving;
  • Christmas Eve;
  • Christmas Day;
  • The child’s birthday

There is usually no doubt that mothers will always have the children on Mother’s Day and fathers will always have the children on Father’s Day.  In my opinion, this is as it should be.   These holidays were established so that each family could honor its mother and its father, respectively.  The beauty of this cultural tradition is that in most situations, each parent has a special day with the children.

Once in a while a parent will try to convince the Court that it is/was more important for the child to see an extended family member, rather than the designated, celebrated, parent.  Stepparents and grandparents may be very important influences in a child’s life, and they deserve recognition on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day (phone calls, emails, gifts or cards).  There is a great editorial on newsday.com this morning celebrating the blended family – “The perfect blend for Mother’s Day.”  But, I cannot recall an instance when the Court decided that someone else should have the kids on Mothers Day or Father’s Day.  So for all of the moms out there, have a happy Mother’s Day!

In Wisconsin, Court files are generally open and subject to public inspection, as part of the state Open Records Law.   That is why a political news story yesterday caught my eye: a Judge in a Missouri congressman’s divorce sealed the file after a reporter asked to see it.  

Unless a Judge specifically orders otherwise, any person can go to a local Circuit Court Clerk of Courts office and ask to see a divorce file.  The entire file is an “open book,” save for a few documents.   We also have CCAP, part of the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access System, where a catalogue of most court filings is maintained in a public database.  The level of detail provided online as to the nature of the individual documents within a file seems to vary by county.

There are two documents which are not for public consumption:

  • Confidential Petition Addendum.  A couple of years ago, the law was (thankfully) changed to provide that instead of putting people’s social security numbers in the Petition for Divorce, that information goes into a separate Confidential Petition Addendum.   The Addendum is placed into a sealed Court file.  The Court, the parties to the case and their attorneys are entitled to access this information.
  • Financial Disclosure Statement.  All parties to divorce are required to file sworn statements setting forth information about their income, expenses, assets and liabilities.  This document, known as a Financial Disclosure Statement, goes into a sealed Court file.  Only the Court, the parties to the case and their attorneys are entitled to access this information.

In Wisconsin, upon request, the Judge decides whether or not to seal a file.  In my local area the sealing of entire divorce files is a relatively rare occurrence, as confirmed by the Appleton Post-Crescent when the paper conducted an investigation of court files in its four-county readership area (Calumet, Outagamie, Waupaca and Winnebago Counties) earlier this year.  

As a result, for most people, their divorce is an open book for anyone to read.  The type of information in an open divorce file often includes:

  • Home address;
  • Occupation and/or employer;
  • Date of marriage;
  • Names and dates of birth of minor children;
  • Whether or not anyone in the family is receiving public assistance;
  • Whether or not the wife is pregnant;
  • In a custody dispute, specific claims about the other spouse: abuse, neglect, alcohol/drug use, etc.
  • A description of the assets being awarded to each spouse;
  • A description of the debts being assigned to each spouse;
  • What the custody and placement arrangements are in a case, and why.

Should this information be for public consumption?  Does the availability of CCAP make a difference? I’d love to hear what you think.

One of the things clients are most concerned about is the length of time it will take for their divorce to be finalized.  Unfortunately, there is no real “standard” amount of time it takes to be divorced.  In Wisconsin, the minimum waiting period is 120 days from the date that the other spouse is served with the Petition for divorce or legal separation.  That’s about four months.  However, most divorces take longer than that.   On average, most divorces take six to eight months to be concluded. 

There are a number of variables which impact the length of time a divorce will take, but here are some of the most important ones:

1.  Whether or not there is a custody/placement dispute.   A custody or placement dispute is one of the biggest determining factors for the length of the divorce process.  Wisconsin law requires parents who disagree about custody or placement to attend mediation.  In most counties, a mediation orientation/educational class is required prior to the first “individual” mediation session with the parents.  In Outagamie County, for example, the orientation is only held once per month (“Children Caught in the Middle“).  Mediation itself takes time.  If mediation fails, the Court will appoint a Guardian ad Litem, and may order other custody evaluations, extending the process.  As a result, it is not uncommon for a fully contested placement dispute to take a year to wind its way through the system. 

2.  The complexity of the case.  The more complex the case, the longer it will take to conclude.  For example, if the marital estate includes a business, that business may need to be valued by an accountant.  If one spouse is claiming an asset is not subject to division because it was gifted or inherited, that gift or inheritance will have to be documented and traced. 

3.  The contentiousness of the case.  There is no doubt that the more issues in dispute, the longer the case will take.  The more time the parties and/or their attorneys spend fighting about issues large and small, the longer it takes them to be prepared to conduct a final divorce hearing.  There is also a direct relationship between the number of issues in dispute and the amount of court time required to present the case.  The more court time that is required, the further in advance the hearing needs to be set.

4.  The county in which the divorce is venued.  This doesn’t seem as though it should matter, but it does.  Some counties have local rules in place to keep divorces on track, while others do not.  Some counties have Judges assigned to hear only family court cases, while others have all Judges hear all types of cases.   Some counties automatically schedule Status or Scheduling Conferences, while others require the parties to request them.  Your attorney can give you an idea of how long a divorce may be expected to take in your particular county.