Have a (Parenting) Plan

June 29, 2009

Many people, particularly dads, come into the office with the idea that they would like to have “50/50” in regards to custody and physical placement arrangements.  Shared parenting is a lofty goal.   However, for some people, it is difficult to come up with concrete details as to how a shared parenting proposal would actually work in practice.

This is where the Parenting Plan can be helpful.    A Parenting Plan is a relatively new creature of law.  It is designed to explain to all parties and the Court exactly how a parent’s proposed legal custody and physical placement will operate in real life.  It covers many parenting topics, including:

  • Education
  • Health care
  • Child care
  • Holidays
  • Transportation

Section 767.41 (1m) of the Wisconsin Statutes requires moms and dads to file a Parenting Plan with the Court under certain circumstances.  But whether or not a parent is required to file a formal plan, it is a good idea for parents to review the questions addressed within the plan and be prepared to answer them, whether it be to an attorney, Guardian ad Litem or Judge.   Knowing answers to these questions helps parents organize their thoughts and communicate more clearly. 

Prepared, knowledgeable and organized parents are in a better position to achieve results in Court.   It also prepares them be more effective co-parents with their exes in the long run.  Isn’t that what children of divorce deserve?

Bird Nesting

June 23, 2009

The media is all about the Gosselin divorce  today. Apparently, the infamous Jon and Kate are going to “bird nest.”  This is an arrangement where the children stay in the family home while their parents are going through a divorce.  Meanwhile, the parents rotate in and out of the house during their respective physical placement time with the kids.  

The parents must make arrangements for alternate housing during their “off” time.  Often, they stay with friends or family members.  One of the benefits of bird-nesting is that it is the adults, rather than the children, who are inconvenienced by having to pack bags and move back and forth between two residences.  When so many things about their lives are changing, having the constancy of their home can be a source of comfort to children.  When finances are tight, many divorcing couples feel that bird-nesting for a short time affords them the opportunity to “save” some money to enable the departing spouse to obtain more permanent housing.

For all of its potential benefits, Courts usually do not require bird nesting because it is fraught with the potential for problems.  Many of the same disputes that were present in the intact household remain a source of conflict during bird-nesting.  Disputes may arise over such issues as:

  • One spouse ate some of the groceries purchased by the other;
  • One spouse did not maintain the house or yard “properly” during her time;
  • One spouse went through the other’s mail or other personal effects;
  • One spouse had “friends” over for a party.

Despite the potential for these types of conflicts, when parents agree that a bird-nesting arrangement would be best for their children, courts will usually endorse such a plan on a temporary basis.  This is particularly so when the case appears to be relatively low-conflict.  The more even-tempered the individuals, the less likely that problems like those cited above will create major disputes.

Regardless of the circumstances, the bird nest tends to be a poor long-term solution, especially when it is only being done due to tight financial conditions.  Therefore, if a bird nest arrangement is in place, it is for a very short period of time, and usually ends before the divorce is finalized.

One of the things clients are most concerned about is the length of time it will take for their divorce to be finalized.  Unfortunately, there is no real “standard” amount of time it takes to be divorced.  In Wisconsin, the minimum waiting period is 120 days from the date that the other spouse is served with the Petition for divorce or legal separation.  That’s about four months.  However, most divorces take longer than that.   On average, most divorces take six to eight months to be concluded. 

There are a number of variables which impact the length of time a divorce will take, but here are some of the most important ones:

1.  Whether or not there is a custody/placement dispute.   A custody or placement dispute is one of the biggest determining factors for the length of the divorce process.  Wisconsin law requires parents who disagree about custody or placement to attend mediation.  In most counties, a mediation orientation/educational class is required prior to the first “individual” mediation session with the parents.  In Outagamie County, for example, the orientation is only held once per month (“Children Caught in the Middle“).  Mediation itself takes time.  If mediation fails, the Court will appoint a Guardian ad Litem, and may order other custody evaluations, extending the process.  As a result, it is not uncommon for a fully contested placement dispute to take a year to wind its way through the system. 

2.  The complexity of the case.  The more complex the case, the longer it will take to conclude.  For example, if the marital estate includes a business, that business may need to be valued by an accountant.  If one spouse is claiming an asset is not subject to division because it was gifted or inherited, that gift or inheritance will have to be documented and traced. 

3.  The contentiousness of the case.  There is no doubt that the more issues in dispute, the longer the case will take.  The more time the parties and/or their attorneys spend fighting about issues large and small, the longer it takes them to be prepared to conduct a final divorce hearing.  There is also a direct relationship between the number of issues in dispute and the amount of court time required to present the case.  The more court time that is required, the further in advance the hearing needs to be set.

4.  The county in which the divorce is venued.  This doesn’t seem as though it should matter, but it does.  Some counties have local rules in place to keep divorces on track, while others do not.  Some counties have Judges assigned to hear only family court cases, while others have all Judges hear all types of cases.   Some counties automatically schedule Status or Scheduling Conferences, while others require the parties to request them.  Your attorney can give you an idea of how long a divorce may be expected to take in your particular county.

The other day, the ABA Journal published an article online about a Canadian case, entitled “Wean Toddler from Breast Milk or Use Machine, Judge Rules.”  In that case, the Judge decided that in order to facilitate dad spending time with the child, mom could either wean the nearly three year old or use a breast milk pump.

That got me thinking about the controversial role breastfeeding can play in placement disputes here in Wisconsin.  It can be a hot-button issue in the context of custody litigation.

Many times, mothers of young children balk at the concept of extended placement, or even overnight placement, with fathers if they are nursing.  Essentially, the argument is that breastfeeding is so important that it would be contrary to the child’s best interests to disrupt it, or at least to disrupt it too much.   The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly promotes breastfeeding for all of its benefits to both mother and child.   Additionally, mothers who breastfeed tend to promote the intense mother-child bond that develops as a result of the physical closeness.

On the other side of the coin, the father-child bond is just as important to facilitate and maintain, particularly when children are newborns and infants.  Nursing often means that children are unable to be away from their mothers for more than a few hours at a time, without either supplemental nutrition or bottle feeding with stored breastmilk.  Fathers wonder how they will bond with their children if they only see them for a few hours at a time, or are prohibited from having them overnight.  As a result, fathers may claim mothers use nursing as a weapon to keep them from from their children. 

These issues are often very difficult for Judges and Court Commissioners to deal with.  Their decisions have to be based on the facts of individual cases.   However, my own experience in the courtroom tells me that it is becoming more and more likely that judicial officials here will tell moms they had better start pumping.

Is this the right answer?  I don’t know that there is one magic answer to this dilemma.  It has to depend on the situation at hand.  Important factors will include:

  • Age of the child
  • Medical needs of the child
  • Whether or not mom works outside the home (if so, she is presumably already pumping — and that can cut both ways)
  • The placement proposals of each parent

Hopefully, whatever decisions are reached, they are in the best interests of the child.

Clients commonly wonder what factors courts consider in making decisions about legal custody and physical placement of children in a divorce.  Section 767.41 is the relevant Wisconsin Statute to this determination.  See: 

http://nxt.legis.state.wi.us/nxt/gateway.dll?f=templates&fn=default.htm&d=stats&jd=767.41

Under the statute, the Court is required to consider “all facts relevant to the best interest of the child.”  The following are the specific factors described in the law:

  • The wishes of the parents;
  • The wishes of the child;
  • The interaction an interrelationship of the child with family members and any others who significantly affect the child’s best interest;
  • The amount and quality of time each parent has spent with the child in the past, and proposed changes a parent wishes to make to spend time with the child in the future;
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, religion and community;
  • The age of the child and the child’s developmental and educational needs at different ages;
  • Whether the mental or physical health of a party, minor child or other person living in a proposed household negatively affects the child’s well-being;
  • The need for regularly occurring and meaningful periods of placement to provide predictabilty and stability for the child;
  • The availability of child care services;
  • The cooperation and communication between the parties, and whether one party unreasonably refuses to cooperate or communicate with the other;
  • Whether each party can support the other party’s relationship with the child;
  • Whether there is evidence that a party abused the child;
  • Whether a person dating a parent or living in the proposed household has abused the child, or another child;
  • Whether there has been interspousal battery or domestic abuse;
  • Whether either party has or had a significant problem with alcohol or drug abuse;
  • The reports of outside professionals if admitted into evidence; and
  • Such other factors as the court may in each individual case determine to be relevant.

If you are involved in custody litigation, be prepared to address all of the above factors.  In my opinion, it is very important is that the Court may consider any factor determined to be relevant to the best interest of the child.   If a factor important to your case is not specifically listed by statute, show the Court how that information is relevant to your particular circumstances.