Custody and Placement Mediation Topics

May 17, 2009

Under Wisconsin law, parents are required to attend at least one session of mediation whenever legal custody and/or physical placement is at issue, with little exception.  The purpose of mediation is to try to help parents resolve their disagreements without having to go through a full-blown custody battle.  

Most parents are able to reach agreement in mediation, which shields children from much of the emotional trauma a prolonged custody battle brings.  To maximize the potential for success, parents need to be prepared to discuss a variety of topics regarding their children at mediation.  At a minimum, parents should be prepared to discuss the following topics:

  • The legal custody arrangement you are requesting, and why you feel it is best for your child.
  • The physical placement (physical custody) arrangements you want in place and why you believe those arrangements are best for your child.  Be thoughtful about a specific proposed schedule and how you suggest transportation be handled.  
  • A holiday and vacation schedule.
  • Your relationship with your child, the activities you enjoy doing together, your philosophy of discipline.
  • The other parent’s relationship with the child.
  • Your child’s personality, routines, likes and dislikes, friends, teachers, activities, health care providers, etc.
  • Where you work and the hours of your employment.
  • Proposed child care providers when you and/or the other parent are unavailable.
  • How the child will be able to contact the other parent, and vice versa during periods of physical placement.
  • How you are following through with the child’s religious commitment, if any.
  • Concerns you have regarding the fitness of the other parent, including any abusive behavior, drinking and drug issues, lack of past contact and concern, etc.
  • Concerns you have regarding any other members of the other parent’s household and how your concerns affect the best interests of your child. 
  • How you intend to address problems you may have had in the past.
  • Actions you intend to take to address concerns raised by either the other parent or the mediators.
  • How you have communicated with the other parent, and how that could change/improve in the future.

Focus on what is best for your child or children.  Try to refrain from bad-mouthing the other parent.  If your circumstances dictate that you must raise serious concerns about the other parent, be prepared to cite specific examples of conduct.

For advice on issues specific to your case, you should contact an experienced divorce and family law attorney.

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